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How Could She Not Believe Me?

How Could She Not Believe Me?
It Happened…
At the age of two my existence became horribly unhappy, my mother who’d previously was caught by my grandmother drilling her fist into my abdomen when I was an infant decided to bring me home with her and her new husband, my stepfather, who I was left alone with at night as my mother attended night school because she never graduated high school. I do remember the first time they took me home from my grandparents how I kicked and screamed and cried uncontrollably like I knew something was very wrong.
I do remember being physically abused at age 2, beaten one time so badly, that my mother had to rush me to the emergency room with welts and cuts across my bottom and thighs (I’d been beaten with a bamboo-handled duster). My parents were evicted from their Hyde Street apartment because of my screaming at night, I remember being terrified of my stepfather, I remember he was very cruel to me. I remember them locking me between two doors that opened and when they were open, the edges touched each other and they could lock me in by tying the door knobs together.
They moved to an apartment on Lombard Street, this is where I remember being sexually abused. One day my mother was out at a doctor’s appointment, my stepfather (who I kept wishing would be kind to me instead of cruel and abusive) made me take off my clothes( flannel nightgown and panties) and forced me to give him oral copulation at the age of 3, I remember I kept spitting because I didn’t like the taste, and he told me “If you don’t stop spitting, I’ll slap you in the face”, luckily we heard my mother coming up the stairs, he told me to go brush my teeth and wash my face, I rushed out to go meet my mother because I, at the time, loved her and didn’t understand what was going on, I stood in front of her butt naked, she asked me what was going on and I told her honestly because again, I was taught to respect my elders and at 3 yrs old, its natural to tell the truth. At that moment I learned something must be terribly wrong because my stepfather LIED and told her I was making it up (I was like, look at me, I’m naked, when I looked down at myself, one of my stepdad’s nasty pubic hairs was on my chest) how could she not believe me?? She sent me to bed with no dinner, and later she beat me, she kept telling me “I’m gonna beat you until you tell me the truth”, I WAS telling the TRUTH!!! They didn’t molest me anymore (I found out she had a hand in it as well in 2011, when she admitted to me it started when I was 2) they just beat me ┬ádid other cruel things to me, making me strip naked and sleep on the newspaper with our two dogs.
my mother Donna Choy-Chong, stepfather Jonathan Thomas Chong
I Felt …
That night I cried uncontrollably under my bed, I remember praying and asking God to let me die in my sleep, and make my mother get hit by a truck.
I think the only reason I survived without completely losing my mind was my grandparents on my mother’s side and aunts and cousins loved me and it balanced out the abuse somehow (I was also sexually abused by two uncles from age 3 -9 and 1/2 but they did not harm or beat me (when I say harm, I mean cause me pain or hurt me) I went to therapists but the ones my mom sent me to were men, so I never told them what happened to me, ASCA (Adult Survivors of Child Abuse) was a great help to me in my twenties.
I Dream…
that the California Statute of Limitations be abolished so I can finally press charges on my abusers and no other children have to suffer and live in fear like I did.
I want…
for one day that there will not be any child sexual abuse, but I know as long as men and women feel they can get away with it, it won’t end.

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